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Very Hot Topic (More than 25 Replies) individual responsibility how do u teach it (Read 623 times)
burnsred
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Re: individual responsibility how do u teach it
Reply #20 - Dec 5th, 2017 at 9:37am
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Jeff wrote on Dec 5th, 2017 at 8:28am:
I think it's essential to let them know very early on that "No, that's not yours", and also "No, you aren't allowed to hit people just because they won't do what you want" and "Well, if you want money to buy things, you'll have to figure out a way to earn some".
Simple stuff that is the basis of individual responsibility.
Exactly.  Too often parents are teaching kids nothing at all and so it is left to the schools.  Schools are way to busy teaching tolerance for (some) alternate lifestyles to teach the reading and math, much less individual responsibility.

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I also think forcing children to share is a bad idea. They can be told very young that if they never share anything with the other kids, lots of the other kids won't like them much, and maybe that's why Billy doesn't want to play with you anymore, but the decision to share or not should be theirs.
You can also tell them that you can't buy a friend. They need to think about it from both sides, test it out for themselves, see what happens.
It's important to teach them the distinction between sharing with siblings when it's something that parents bought because family takes care of each other and sharing with "everyone" because "everyone" isn't everyone else's responsibility. 
  
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Don_G
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Re: individual responsibility how do u teach it
Reply #21 - Dec 5th, 2017 at 1:16pm
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Thumper wrote on Dec 5th, 2017 at 3:04am:
New guy here. So hi.

Out of curiosity. Do you have any children? I ask because the only way your kid will only have your morals is if they never interact with anyone else.

There is nothing you can do to make sure your children's  morals exactly reflect yours. Theirs will change as they grow and as they interact with other people. My grown daughters moral center is very different from my own even though we did a pretty good job raising them. And their morals are very different from each other.

Away. Personal responsibility isn't something you can teach. It has to be learned. And a part of making sure that society or a community learns it is making sure there are comcequences for the decisions those individuals make.


Welcome to the forum.

'It takes a village to raise a child', is a perfectly legitimate comment that should be accepted by all people of good intent. Because Hillary Clinton said it, these pseudo-libertarians condemn it. The fact is, many other good intentioned people said it before her.

When you say your children's morals are very different from you own, you've likely lost context. If that were true then they they would be immoral. Or vice versa, you would be immoral. It's very likely that neither is true.
  
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SkyChief
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Re: individual responsibility how do u teach it
Reply #22 - Dec 5th, 2017 at 1:49pm
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Thumper wrote on Dec 5th, 2017 at 3:04am:
Out of curiosity. Do you have any children? I ask because the only way your kid will only have your morals is if they never interact with anyone else.

We have children. 

I never had any problem with my kids interacting with other people. I've had a lot of problems with people imparting their morals on my kids, though. 

My daughter's childhood friend asked her to attend church with them. My daughter asked for our permission to go with them, and I said no because we felt she was too young to be exposed to organized religion.  Naturally, she was a little disappointed, but took it in stride. The following day, her friend's mother called my wife and told her that we were wrong to not let our daughter attend church with them!

The nerve!!    Angry

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Away. Personal responsibility isn't something you can teach. It has to be learned...

???? I disagree.  Parents can teach Personal responsibility to a child by by holding them accountable for their actions.

"shit happens" never was a valid excuse in our house.  Our kids learned that from US - not the "villagers".
  
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Don_G
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Re: individual responsibility how do u teach it
Reply #23 - Dec 5th, 2017 at 2:10pm
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SkyChief wrote on Dec 5th, 2017 at 1:49pm:
We have children. 

I never had any problem with my kids interacting with other people. I've had a lot of problems with people imparting their morals on my kids, though. 

My daughter's childhood friend asked her to attend church with them. My daughter asked for our permission to go with them, and I said no because we felt she was too young to be exposed to organized religion.  Naturally, she was a little disappointed, but took it in stride. The following day, her friend's mother called my wife and told her that we were wrong to not let our daughter attend church with them!

The nerve!!    Angry

???? I disagree.  Parents can teach Personal responsibility to a child by by holding them accountable for their actions.

"shit happens" never was a valid excuse in our house.  Our kids learned that from US - not the "villagers".


Arguing the validity of the words by Clinton is a waste of time for me. It's an indication of silly dogma that can't accept it for what it is and what it really meant. It's really only saying something as innocent as, 'children need to be exposed to the world around them'. Socializing children in the same way everybody accepts that dogs need to be socialized with other dogs. 'We're mammals too!

But I think you comments on refusing your daughter going to church are quite wise, at the same time interesting. Some will say you're unduly sheltering your child from the real world. It would be interesting to hear what Jeff would say to that.

You do know that I think you made the right decision. But that would depend on the age of the child.

Another valid choice may have been to allow the child to go to the church and then council the child afterward on what she learned and whether she thought it was truthful. Then, give the child an alternative view of what she may have been taught.
  
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SkyChief
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Re: individual responsibility how do u teach it
Reply #24 - Dec 5th, 2017 at 2:28pm
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Don_G wrote on Dec 5th, 2017 at 2:10pm:
...I think you made the right decision. But that would depend on the age of the child.

At what age should a child be encouraged to believe in God(s)?

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Another valid choice may have been to allow the child to go to the church and then council the child afterward on what she learned and whether she thought it was truthful. Then, give the child an alternative view of what she may have been taught.

All that seems like it would be much too confusing for a child, IMO.
  
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Don_G
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Re: individual responsibility how do u teach it
Reply #25 - Dec 5th, 2017 at 2:36pm
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SkyChief wrote on Dec 5th, 2017 at 2:28pm:
At what age should a child be encouraged to believe in God(s)?


That's not the question to ask, and besides, I don't have an answer. The right question to ask is when parents should allow a child to be subjected to religious superstitious beliefs and the teaching of such?

My answer to that is that the child needs to be old enough to make an adult choice. That will vary with each child. Mine were about 12 but that also was dependent on receiving input from my wife and I first. We filled their heads with science and warned them of the dangers of religion. Then they didn't even want to go to church for any more than a day, out of curiosity of who those fools were talking to when they got down on their knees? Ask Jeff!

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All that seems like it would be much too confusing for a child, IMO.


You'll understand better now.
  
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Jeff
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Re: individual responsibility how do u teach it
Reply #26 - Dec 5th, 2017 at 5:09pm
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burnsred wrote on Dec 5th, 2017 at 9:37am:
It's important to teach them the distinction between sharing with siblings when it's something that parents bought because family takes care of each other and sharing with "everyone" because "everyone" isn't everyone else's responsibility. 
I think they will make their own distinctions no matter what you say. Just let them know that if the are never willing to share anything with anyone, they will probably end up completely alone.

As far as, "No, that is not yours, everyone in the family is allowed to use that" goes, some children are slow to learn that also.

Some children are also slow to learn that they are not in charge of the family.
  
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Don_G
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Re: individual responsibility how do u teach it
Reply #27 - Dec 6th, 2017 at 1:06pm
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SkyChief wrote on Dec 3rd, 2017 at 4:29pm:
Sorry, I didn't mean to misrepresent what you said.

Oh - Like when Hillary said "It takes a village to raise a child".   

I don't agree with that philosophy at all.  I don't want the values of others to sully the values I impart on my children.  That's how they created the socialists millennials - leaving child-rearing up to the leftist teachers.


All you really need is a new way of saying what Clinton said, and then it won't stick in your craw. Jeff's given you that but it wasn't camoflaged enough for you.

You've really mad a complete ass of yourself over this issue chief. What Clinton said is widely accepted, reasonable, and well intentioned. And plus, many others had said it long before she said it.

Take it for what it is and learn from it so you won't do the same thing again. And again and again, ....................
  
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SkyChief
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Re: individual responsibility how do u teach it
Reply #28 - Dec 6th, 2017 at 2:48pm
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Don_G wrote on Dec 6th, 2017 at 1:06pm:
All you really need is a new way of saying what Clinton said, and then it won't stick in your craw. Jeff's given you that but it wasn't camoflaged enough for you.

Jeff agrees with Hillary - I don't.  So what.  That doesn't mean that Hillary is right.

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What Clinton said is widely accepted, reasonable, and well intentioned. And plus, many others had said it long before she said it.

Just because her philosophy is "widely accepted" and "well intentioned" doesn't make it right.  It just means that it's politically correct.  Big difference.

I don't want the values of others to sully the values I impart on my children.  That's how they created the socialists millennials - expecting the leftist teachers to teach individual responsibility.  It would never happen.  That's why juvenile crime has skyrocketed in the inner cities.   There is no accountability for delinquents. 

In California we have a special program to PAY gang members $1000 a month if they dont kill anyone. 
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/09/01/sacramento-plans-to-pay-gang-members-1-5m-t...

Do you suppose that teaches individual responsibility?

The Leftist Sacramento lawmakers are staggeringly stupid.
  
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Re: individual responsibility how do u teach it
Reply #29 - Dec 6th, 2017 at 2:53pm
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Don_G wrote on Dec 5th, 2017 at 1:16pm:
Welcome to the forum.

'It takes a village to raise a child', is a perfectly legitimate comment that should be accepted by all people of good intent. Because Hillary Clinton said it, these pseudo-libertarians condemn it. The fact is, many other good intentioned people said it before her.

When you say your children's morals are very different from you own, you've likely lost context. If that were true then they they would be immoral. Or vice versa, you would be immoral. It's very likely that neither is true.

i condem it becuze i belive in every one being an antishill killa that just wants to be left alone
  
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